Start Therapy 101
Helping You Decide If You’re Ready and How to Begin with Confidence
🧠 Therapy Is for Everyone!
As therapist one of my biggest pet peeves is people thinking they need to be or are broken to seek out mental health counseling. It grinds my gears even more when others associate the participation of others in therapy as meaning their “crazy”.
Truth is, everyone can benefit from therapy. If we are alive and well, we should be working to evolve. Maybe you have childhood trauma you have never addressed and its negatively impacted how you view family and relationships? Maybe you struggle to set boundaries and have associated your servitude with self-worth? Maybe you struggle to concentrate or focus on work or on simple task at home? No matter which one resonates, or which one does not, a therapist can help you navigate the day-to-day challenges we face in the human experience. Therapy is a tool of wellness and prevention, like our wellness visit with our primary care doctor, our annual pap-smear with the OBGYN or our teeth cleaning with a dentist. Our mental health, the health of the brain and our thinking patterns are just as important as our bodies! In this blog, you’ll discover ways to determine when you need to consider therapy, how to identify barriers or challenges you would like to address, cost, finding a therapist, the value of consultation and the need for commitment to the journey. Therapy is not an indicator of weakness, but instead one of the most courageous decisions a person can make! The work is hard but usually always proves worth it! This post is here to walk you through how to start therapy—step by step. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just ready to grow, this guide will help you move forward with clarity and confidence.
🌱 Step 1: Identify What You Want to Explore or Heal
It is beneficial to start with identifying some of the things you would like to explore or heal. This helps narrow down your search for a therapist by niche. In some cases, you want to know exactly where you want to start but a great place is the last event that made you say, “That’s it I want to explore therapy.” As therapist, we tend to call this the catalyst for change. For example, a breakup with a romantic partner or friend, a big argument with a family member that has lead you to “no contact”, challenges at work with coworkers or your boss, a fight with your partner about responsibility or role overload. These are common examples and not an exhaustive list. A therapist may ask questions like these below:
What’s been feeling heavy, hard, or confusing lately?
Are there patterns you keep repeating that you’d like to break?
Do you struggle with anxiety, burnout, grief, or relationships?
Are you looking for a space to grow, process, or rest?
On this journey of discovery, it may be beneficial to journal, create voice notes or list. This way, you have a starting place for your prospective therapist.
Pro Tip: You don’t need to have “the right words”—you just need the willingness to be honest with yourself.
💸 Step 2: Decide If You’ll Use Insurance or Pay Out-of-Pocket
Historically accessibility has been a barrier to mental health care. For some, it’s believed therapy is only for wealthy people, however with growing coverage by insurance it has become more accessible across socioeconomic lines. Here is a description of common options:
Self-Pay Benefits are out of pocket meaning you and your therapist discuss a fee for service. Self-pay provides:
Greater privacy, meaning insurance companies don’t have access to your medical record
More flexibility in choosing a therapist
No diagnosis required for treatment
Using Insurance means you have coverage through an employer or privately. Insurance use may be:
More affordable per session
Will require diagnosis and has limitations, insurance payers can decide not to pay at all or place limitations like session caps or no telehealth.
☎️ Step 3: If Using Insurance, Verify Your Mental Health Benefits
It is important to know what your benefits are to reduce high and unexpected medical bills. In some cases, your provider will verify insurance and make you aware of your benefits as a courtesy however a provider is not responsible or required to provide this service. I recommend:
Call the number on the back of your card (ask for “behavioral health” benefits)
Key questions to ask:
Do I have a deductible? Has any of it been met?
What is my co-pay or co-insurance per session?
Are telehealth sessions covered?
How many sessions am I allowed per year?
Pro Tip: Ask if you need pre-authorization or a referral. Write everything down.
🌈 Step 4: Find a Therapist Who Feels Safe and Aligned
Referring to the section above exploring What You Want to Explore or Heal will be very important here to increase the likelihood of connecting with the right therapist! Therapists have an ethical duty to practice within the boundaries of their training and competence and refer out to another therapist when necessary to honor this ethical standard. This is why therapist need to know what your concerns and goals are prior to entering a therapeutic relationship.
Consider:
Identity & lived experience: Do you feel safer with a therapist of a certain race, gender, or background?
Specialization: Trauma, anxiety, relationships, ADHD, eating disorders, etc.
Therapy style: Direct or gentle? Structured or open-ended?
Cultural competence: Do they affirm your whole self?
Where to Search:
Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
Therapy for Black Girls https://therapyforblackgirls.com
Inclusive Therapists https://www.inclusivetherapists.com
Open Path https://openpathcollective.org
Insurance directories
Local referrals from doctors or friends
📆 Step 5: Set Up a Consultation
Consultations do not eliminate the risk of you and a therapist not being a good fit, but they do offer a first line of defense. During these consultations, go in with questions. You can ask about education, experience and even statistics on outcomes. You are essentially interviewing your therapist for the job.
Many therapists offer free 15–20-minute consultations
Come prepared with:
A few goals or concerns
Questions about their style or approach
Your availability + insurance info if applicable
Pro Tip: This is a two-way conversation—you’re interviewing them too.
🔁 Step 6: Commit to Consistency
Don’t start therapy in crisis! Most outpatient therapist are crisis interventionist. If it’s an emergency and you want to hurt yourself or others, I encourage you to go to your nearest emergency room. If it’s an outpatient crisis, understand that therapy isn’t a light switch concept. A therapist may be able to help you get grounded and reduce anxiety session one but not overcome the challenge in its entirety.
Therapy is most effective when it’s consistent—ideally weekly or bi-weekly
Think of it as emotional maintenance, not a “quick fix”
Healing takes time, but each session is a step toward clarity and growth
“Like going to the gym or taking medication, therapy works best when it’s consistent—not just when things get rough.”
💬 Step 7: It’s Okay to Switch Therapists
I like to think of finding a therapist as shopping for shoes! As I look at the wall of shoes, I may see a shoe that’s glorious on display. I ask for my size, try it on and walk up and down the aisle and realize it’s a beautiful shoe but doesn’t look great on my feet or maybe it isn’t comfortable for walking, so I put it back and move on to the next option.
If you don’t feel safe, understood, or aligned, it’s okay to move on
You don’t need to stay out of loyalty—this is your space
Many therapists will help you find a better fit if needed
Reframe ending therapy not as failure—but as choosing what’s best for your growth
✨ Conclusion: Starting Is a Brave First Step
If you’ve made it this far, I want you to pause and honor yourself. Considering therapy is an act of courage—it means you’re listening to the parts of yourself that long to heal, grow, or simply be held. That alone is worth celebrating.
You are not too much. You are not too late. You don’t have to have it all figured out before you ask for support. You are worthy—of softness, of guidance, of a mind that feels well and thoughts that feel kind.
Whether your next step is journaling through what’s coming up for you, exploring therapist directories, or scheduling a consultation—know that every small action is movement toward something more whole, more grounded, and more you.
You don’t have to do this alone. Healing is possible—and it can start today. 💛
🔗 If you’re ready to begin your therapy journey, I’d be honored to support you. Schedule a free consultation today to see if we’re a good fit here: https://camille-jones-farren.clientsecure.me/
Disclaimer:
The content shared in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this post does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you are in need of mental health support, please reach out to a licensed provider in your area.
